EXCERPTS
EXCERPTS
Inside flap
• Life is hard when you don't fit in. Everywhere you seem to go, every guy you seem to meet, and even, every job you seem to land, turns out for the worst. It seems that way for Lory (pronounced like Lori). For no matter what she does, she seems to meet the most peculiar sort of characters and get into the most outlandish, ridiculous, dilemmas. Almost like she can't win for losing, as she BARELY squeeze out of her insane predicaments by the skin of her teeth. At least until she starts "hearing voices," and as ditzy as she can easily be, she isn't crazy. Who - or what - is this weird voice that keeps encouraging and taking to her? And why does this very oblivious, ditzy, "queen of bad luck" seemingly begin to have unusual experiences and fortune? For only that voice seems to truly know what's going on, understand her, and her unusual turn for good luck.
.EXCERPT of Conversations Out of Chaos by Imeh Smith
CONTENTS
PREFACE ....................................................................................................IX
MIRACLE FROM THE START ....................................................................1
MY CURSED SCHOOLS DAYS/YEARS ......................................................7
MUSICAL, BUT CAN'T PLAY AN INSTRUMENT ................................12
TRIALS WITH JOBS ..................................................................................17
SKIPPING SCHOOL & STILL GRADUATING ON TIME ....................19
COLLEGE DAYS ........................................................................................23
THE LIST CONTINUES ............................................................................31
ADVENTURES WITH SWAUTCH ..........................................................33
MY WORLD AT DISNEY ..........................................................................35
PERHAPS PICKY, BUT NEVER INDECISIVE ........................................37
CRAZY JOURNEY HOME ........................................................................39
EVER CONSTANT EMPLOYMENT TRIALS ..........................................41
GOD'S HELP ..............................................................................................44
BACK AT HOWARD ..................................................................................48
LIFE AFTER GRADUATION ....................................................................51
LIFE IN VIRGINIA ....................................................................................53
2000 N.Y. ....................................................................................................58
FINALLY, A GOOD JOB............IN JAPAN ..........................................63
ME GOING HOME 4 DADDY ................................................................76
DREAMS OF DADDY ................................................................................81
ATTACK ON MY CAR ..............................................................................88
ANTICS W/RENEGADE WHO BECAME KONG ..................................91
THE ESCAPE ..............................................................................................95
THE WORST, THE WORSTER, & THE WORSTEST!! ........................100
TRILOGY OF INSANITY ........................................................................126
GOD DOESN'T TEASE?!?!? ......................................................................137
FLOYD AND FAT-THE FAT PUSSYCAT ............................................140
THE INSANITY AT BERKLEY ................................................................142
MORE ANTICS WITH MYRO & SWAUTCH ......................................149
ADVENTURES UPSTAIRS ......................................................................154
PEOPLE'S SUGGESTIONS W/NO HELP!! ............................................156
ANY COMPATABLE ROOMMATES ......................................................161
WHY ARE YOU SO BROKE?! ..................................................................162
END TIMES PROPHECY ........................................................................169
SWAUTCH LYING ABOUT MOVING TO NY ......................................171
MORE RETARDED QUESTIONS PEOPLE ASK! ..................................173
DREAMS OF SWAUTCH ........................................................................175
WHO DOESN'T BLAME GOD?! ............................................................178
WHY DO EVIL PEOPLE KEEP MONEY & POWER? ..........................182
MORE PROBLEMS WITH MY LIFE ......................................................183
REGINGERFACATION OF BERKLEY ..................................................185
MORE CHAOS IN MY LIFE ....................................................................187
AN ODE TO THE STRUGGLES OF FINDING A ROOMATE ............189
GOD SPEAKS THROUGH MY CHAOS ................................................196
QUICK RANT ON MYRO, SWAUTCH, & MR. HAG ..........................197
NOT RELIGION BUT RESULTS ............................................................209
ROYAL SET UP!! ......................................................................................213
FIRST DREAM AFTER BEING TRICKED ............................................215
DEATH & LOVE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER ..218
WHAT AN IDIOTIC DEMON!!! ............................................................232
NOW DON'T FORGET THE GOOD STUFF ........................................234
AM I FINISHED YET?! ............................................................................236
WEIRD FRIENDS ....................................................................................236
LEAVING YOU WITH AN IMPORTANT THOUGHT ........................237
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ......................................................................239
COMING ATTRACTIONS ......................................................................241
WHO IS IMEH SMITH ............................................................................242
THE AWARENESS PROJECT ON TOLERANCE, ABILITY, & SELF
IMAGETM ..................................................................................................245
BIBLIOGRAPHY ......................................................................................249
MIRACLE FROM THE START
I was actually a miracle right from the start. Perhaps a bound to be famous, known to all, destiny. I don't know; but my mom tried very hard to have kids - and I am the only child. She had two miscarriages and a stillbirth before me, and one miscarriage after me. She stopped working and only rested and prepared for my coming. I was the only baby to survive, the only healthy live birth. They had my baby shower after I was born just to make sure she had a successful birth.
I was born at George Washington Hospital in Washington, DC. My parents and I lived in N.E., DC in a neighborhood called Brooklyn - NOT to be confused with Brooklyn, NY. We lived down the street from Catholic Univ. and all of their mini catholic colleges around them such as Trinity Univ. Brooklyn is a WONDERFUL neighborhood to live in alone as a single person, with your kids as a family, or even as a retired empty nester. There is a subway near there, a lovely playground, elementary school, and exquisite community center down the street. Because of the neighbor, the crime rate is very low. And there is much diversity in that area, every since I could remember as a kid up till now.
My great uncle on my mom's side use to hold block parties in our neighborhood that took up the whole block-thus a block party. The whole neighborhood would come out. Family, friends, old, young, black, white, American, and foreign (the few foreigners we had in our neighborhood back then). There was a massive amount of food. Delicious pies, cakes, savory ribs, bar-B-Q, grilled, and baked meats and veggies, all types of salads, and plenty of music, games, fellowship, and fun.
I vaguely remember many of the people and things in the neighborhood. For we moved from there when I was still a little tike. I do remember the lady with the 2 boys who lived downstairs. Her sons were young and we'd play together. I also somewhat remember this older girl from down the street. She would walk me to school daily. I guess she must have been in 4th or 5th grade perhaps when I was in pre-kindergarten. Of course 4th grade is STILL a kid but to a 4 year old, someone whose 8 is totally much older than you. for you must remember, children grow exponentially fast.
For within in 1 single year, you go from being a super tiny new born baby, to a little infant, to something with teeth and the ability to eat, to something that can almost walk. And within the next few years, you go from a little toddler to a child who can run, jump, climb, and play. So sure, it's only 4 years difference, but you're not talking someone who's 20 and 24. Which are basically 2 young folks who can easily relate because they are damn near the same age. But a little kid and a older kid.
Anyway, I spoke to her mom recently. We basically chatted for over an hour talking about her family and mine. She described how mom acted with me when I was first born. Something that I would of course have no idea or memory of. she said mom was obsessed with me and constantly cleaned me. she said how mom could not stand having anything out of place in the apt. and how she'd immediately start cleaning and rearranging things to keep things in the exact order and place around the apt. and if I got just a little smudge of dirt on me, she'd immediately give me another bath and change my clothes. She said mom definitely had a compulsion disorder. Something that I could easily see growing up with throughout our life.
I don't remember that many others in that neighborhood. There was this old man who lived in our apartment complex. He made this lemon cake obviously with no water nor milk and it must have been dryer than bread. None of the adults wanted any, but I, a child of 5 or so, thought is was tasty and ate all of the cake. On another occasion, he chased my neighborhood buddy and me all over the yard with a switch in one hand and his cane in the other. I have no idea what happened or why he was mad at us. My mom remembers and told me that she was too embarrassed and busy laughing to come down and get us. She said he hopped, wobbled, and ran after us yelling, "I'm gonna beat you ... I'm gonna beat you ..." but of course he had to catch us first. No person in their right mind would let someone catch them so they can get beat. So we kept on running and he couldn't catch us.
My mom is an artist and makes all types of arts and crafts. She made mini dollhouses out of cardboard and raison boxes. She also made me a playhouse out of cardboard when I was 4. I truly enjoyed playing in the house with my toys. I guess I played so much and so rough, it just fell over.
If I remember right, it leaned to the side like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I enjoyed the house just as much leaning and on the ground as I enjoyed it standing. I remember using it like a sleeping bag and a sled down the hill. My mom gagged and screamed. Her dollhouse was ruined. That was the last one she made for me.
I also remember a fun toy as a kid called Sit & Spin. It would make a great aerobic exercise, or at least good for toning your arms. You would sit on this round flat disk with your legs Indian style around this pole. There was a handle at the top and the faster you turned the handle, the faster you'd spin in a circle. Loads of fun, and I'm sure it would be a workout if you are heavy. I guess it could make you dizzy though.
I am an only child so I usually had to play by myself, thus my imagination is very elaborate and vivid. My mom gave me those wonderful kid books in which you would play the 45" as you manually read the book and look at pictures. You're supposed to read along with the narrator and they had nice songs too. I would make pretend I'm a character inside the story. I pretended to be there and would imitate the pictures in the book. If the author drew them in action like running or jumping then I would put on my pretty Easter dress and would pose and put my legs and arms in the same position as the picture inside the book.
One of my favorites was "Richard Scarry's Best Word Book Ever". I liked that book through out elementary school-even after most kids outgrew the book. I would pretend to be inside the book and act like I was brushing my teeth, eating with the animal family, oh, and my favorite, traveling with them in the city and through the country. And I still LOVE to travel.
My grandma would keep my cousin and me when I was little. I remember wanting to go to school because my cousin, who's only one year older, went, and crying because I couldn't go. Isn't that pure insanity!! Of course, the second I went to school, I regretted it. When I was three I remember walking to school with granny and my cousin Re and then turning and spinning like a mad man then falling and busting open my right knee. I have a scar to this day from that accident. In fact my poor delicate right leg is always in some tragedy. It's my right foot that has a bunion. It's that same foot which first hurts from wearing new not worn in shoes. It is that foot that first gets the corn or new shoe scrap on the back of my heel. It was the big toe on that foot which was attacked by a piece of glass from the liquor store broken beer bottle and needed to get taken out with a long needle. It was the right leg which I fell on and bruised my shin. It is the right leg which hurts along the shin and it's the same knee which banged on a chair and thus again hurting such a precious and delicate gem. Well anyway, shortly after the knee incident we moved from N.E., DC, the city I was born in and my first abode, to Maryland.
My dad's family lives down the country in Virginia. My dad has a big family, many sisters and brothers, and many nieces, nephews, and cousins. They had a big farm with chickens, cats, dogs, a goat, a pig; they even had a little pony at one point. It was a huge farm and back in the day when grandpa and my uncle were living, everyone would come to the house. It was a 2-hour drive from our home in Maryland to my dad's farm in Virginia and I always seemed to need to use the toilet. It is a very old home with no plumbing. There was a leaning outhouse- like my cardboard playhouse that I turned into a blanket and sleigh. My mom refused to use the leaning outhouse, so we took a bucket to go in, as well as clothes, food, beer, $, et cetera. I remember whenever I needed to use the toilet daddy refused to stop so I had to go in the bucket in the back seat. As a 4-year-old in a moving car, I'm sure I got urine on the seat and myself. It's quite humorous though when I think back.
I remember waking up early to see the kid shows like Beth and Bower, Great Space Coaster, and New Zoo Review. I would rush down stairs early Saturday morning just to see it. That was the last time I would happily wake up very early. Outside of Christmas Day when I would rush down stairs to see what Santa gave me and if I got the toy I wanted, I hated waking up early. As I kid I would sleep until afternoon on the weekends and my dad would make me get out of bed. Now I can easily sleep until 4pm. I also vaguely remember these next sets of events. I somewhat remember jogging all over the mall in downtown DC where the Monument is with my aunt and cousin. We jogged and jogged. We stopped to take a rest at this tree where I remember saying, "Just let me sit and die here." My aunt gagged laughing as I slumped on the ground too exhausted to get up anymore. She said we could stop here. The reason for this activity I don't know. Perhaps we were going for a picnic and sight see, something that my family did a lot of. I have photos of my cousins and me at museums as young as 2½ or 3.
My family would take me to Kiddyland, the Enchanted Forest, and parades- where I was terrified of the loud noises and folks in costumes. I'm sure I wasn't a day over three, but I do vaguely remember the loud terrifying parade noise (maybe they were loud fireworks which I hate the sound to this day), giant costumes, and my mom photographing me being scared of the people in lion and other costumes at the kid's theme park. Mom said I was scared of the giant human dragon consume with the people dancing inside it. She told me how beautiful it looked but that I just kept screaming and wanting her to hold me. I know it's beautiful now, but then I only remember those big, scary, costumes full of feathers. And I was completely terrified! I also vaguely remember the nursery rhyme castle that I was also scared of. I think the animatronics and statues looked fake to adults but too real for me. I probably would be scared of pigs and other animals in real life, let alone a giant singing statue. Animals don't sing, and if one is larger than me and starts singing now, I'm running! Unless it's cute and nice, then I would talk to it. I remember going to the Smithsonian museums in DC. They are the only set of museum, outside of London, that are free. I was spoiled on this-and perhaps other things too. I was shocked to find out that I had to pay to enter a museum in any other city. The nerve! How dare them charge me, in upwards of $10 and more, to visit a museum. When I first realized I had to pay to enter a museum, I argued and debated with the cashier thinking it was a mistake. I'm sure I embarrassing whomever I was with.
My favorite Smithsonian Museum is the Museum of Natural History, and of course, I was scared of things inside that one too. That one is the coolest next to the space museum. It has a woolly mammoth to greet you at the door. It has dinosaur bones and a humpback whale in an exhibit hall and the lights make it look like it's underwater. It has the mummies, cave men, and a cool anthropological mural of all the people and races of the world. It's my favorite, but as a child, I was scared of the dinosaur, whale-in fact I'd start crying asking someone to hold me. I though it was underwater because it looked blue and underwater like. I slightly remember this event. I was at the Smithsonian Museum of American History. Well, my mom, aunt, my cousin Re, and I were at the boring part. I really don't know what was going on, it was too boring. I do remember being scared of the 1800 train exhibit. Every few minutes the train would sound, start moving, and blow its loud horn. I was terrified. I thought it would actually start moving. This huge, massive, loud machine might hit me. After all, I was probably not a day over four or five. Well we went to the hall of presidents. Re and I were very bored at this point. Who cares about these old, ugly, paintings, let's go to the fun section. After seemingly countless hours there, I asked, probably loudly, "Is this the ugly exhibit!?" I guess my aggravation and question worked. My mom and aunt must have been so embarrassed since all of the other people stared at us. After that, we left that boring section. I can't remember where we went after that, probably to see the scary train.
I remember going to the beach at Ocean City, MD with my cousins who currently live in N.C. I also remember going to the Baltimore zoo with Tony, another cousin, Re, my aunt, and mom. I must have been around 10 at this point. I don't remember much else except the adults got separated or maybe Re and I went with Tony to see some animal. I personally don't like zoo's too much, they stink. With the exception of the Salisbury Zoo, which offers the cutest farm and forest animals-I guess they couldn't afford real zoo animals. Most zoos have big, smelly, dirty animals. The stuffed version of the animal is very cute. The cartoon version can be cute. The real version is not so cute and very smelly, so I can do without zoos. Well I guess Tony found my mom and aunt so he decided to take a short cut, down this very steep mountain of a hill. He and Re went down fine. When he saw that I couldn't come down the steep hill, he handed me a huge stick and tells me to take my time. I was screaming the entire way. Mom and my aunt heard me before they saw us. They thought it was quite funny, unlike me. They said I looked like Moses with a long his staff coming down Mt. Sinai. Ashamed, I don't enjoy in the laughter.
I actually don't remember this final event. My mom told me about this one. My family went to visit my great aunt. My parents and I went to her house 6 hours from us in Va. I guess I was around 9 or 10. She's extremely religious and superstitious. Like me, she believes in the supernatural. She is a preacher and has a church. It was very small and didn't have indoor plumbing. She had about 8 members, most of which were kids. According to my mom, a few senile members and some kids. She was an excellent pianist and she would sing and preach. Since the church was small, I guess we spread out. My mom and dad set on different pews and I sat in the "choir/deacon" seats. She made some comment about, "I wish my 2 brothers would come to church." I was told I whispered, loudly, "Aunt Ruth, Aunt Ruth, are you talking about Grandpa and Uncle Jim?" Daddy loudly hushed me up and she basically ignored me saying, "That there's my niece".
MY CURSED SCHOOLS DAYS/YEARS
My horrific school experience from elementary to high school really didn't begin until I went to MD public schools. Private school has a different caliber of students from public school all together. I remember the horrible students who harassed me in public school had the nerve to talk to me at the private Christian school/church we went to on Sundays. Of course it's not where you live, go to school, or work. As they say, you can move people out of the trailer park or ghetto, but you can't move the trailer park or ghetto out of people. And that is basically what my school was, a bunch of poor whites, blacks, and foreigners who weren't able to save up enough money to leave the area. There were a lot of folks that got enough money to leave their DC housing project and move to Md. There are many people, like my family and friends, whom grew up in working class areas to the pit of the ghetto but are normal, professional, nice decent citizens. There are also those people who grew up in nice homes in nice neighborhoods with good families and turn out to be psychopaths and professional juvenile delinquents.
BLUBBER By Judy Blume
My school days, at least in grammar school, reminded me of Blubber, the sweet, tormented, main character in a book of the same name by Judy Blume. I'm sure my school had no more bullies than any other public school or school in general. It wasn't until 3rd grade that kids began harassing me and of course it was then that I begin to hate school. It was also when I began to get fat. I also was an early bloomer and they made fun of my breasts calling me Dolly Parton and laughing. I told mom I wanted to get rid of them, not realizing what an asset it was. I was fat from 8 years old on. I know people who were fat kids and skinny teens or vise versa. They seem to be able to lose weight easier in adulthood. But every person I know-black, Latino, white, man, or woman, if they were fat kids and fat teens, they are still fat. And it seems almost impossible, short of surgery and liposuction, to lose weight. Of course, being fat is one more thing to be picked on in school. Thus, the best part of school was the field trips and the occasional party, everything else.... I hated!!!
Local Review of Conversations Out Of ChAoS
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This is a whimsical, zany, book with loveable characters. Imaginatively funny with thought provoking concepts, suspense, tragedy, and spirituality all mixed in such a way, that it really makes you think and analyze the message even if you don't agree with it, and still keep you laughing. It's fun, easy reading for teens and adults alike. The author's sarcasm and wit keeps you laughing. Inspired by her own life, the author is really good at reaching people, young and old, who struggle with belonging and fitting into societies standards. Although jarring points are placed inside the main character, her childlike innocence keeps it lighthearted.
She relates to people on the fringes of societies and the curious at heart. As zany as this book is, it provides curious people, who are not very spiritual or religious, Christian insight. If you were curious but too embarrassed or shy to ask for yourself, the main character asks for you on her quest for answers, help, and miracles, thanks to the voice inside her head. Many parts of this book are so hilarious and insane; I would love to see it on film. I can easily see a fusion, mixed with a Bridget Jones Diary featuring A Simple Life/Anna Nicole Smith type portraying the main character.
Precious Sogwa
Film/Book/Art critique
Excerpt from book
Copyright Imeh Smith. All rights reserved.
